Modern Weddings: Have We Lost The Plot?
Weddings are a confluence of so many things. Love, family, connection and celebration are commonly mined for wedding content but, like a expertly tiered wedding cake, the layers of meaning and the structural components go far beyond the polished buttercream surface.
In my 10 years as a wedding industry vendor I have experienced the way mental health, collaboration, trauma, communication, intuition and creativity play pivotal roles. I’ve witnessed the influence of cultural narratives and capitalist ideologies, marked the rise of content fueled performance and mourned the advent of social media measured praise with a growing sense of unease.
The pervasive story of modern weddings is a cursory one of aspirational fantasy complete with first hand bride-centric recollections that suspiciously skim past all the plot twists, messy moments and poignant confrontations the couple has encountered along the way… and I get it. This perfectly curated story is gangbusters at selling ad space, collecting likes, and playing ball with the algorithm. But let’s be real. It doesn’t even begin to prepare couples for the richly textured psychological and emotional minefield they are destined to encounter on their journey to the altar.
We’ve been dangerously skimming the surface of a deep untapped reservoir and the veneer of perfection is fracturing whether or not we acknowledge it.
It’s impossible to pinpoint when it was decided that a wedding can and should be “the best day of your life,” or that the perfect day was attainable (if not guaranteed) but I can attest to the way this fantasy narrative is actively harming the couples and vendors it affects. Through countless conversations with clients and contemporaries about the pressure we put on ourselves, and each other, to deliver an impossible standard of perfection, I’ve learned that the human collective is yearning for a new path forward.
We’ve lost the plot, and it’s high time we gather ourselves for a radical reimagining.
Couples are being accosted on all sides by societal pressure and sisyphean wedding planning checklists that imply their wedding will be a disaster without escort cards and monogrammed wedding favors. They’re trapped in a generational battle with purse-string-holding parents who struggle to wrap their heads around the myriad ways wedding have changed while feverishly barreling through the projected misery of wedding planning in pursuit of their paradoxically perfect day… only to find it does not exists. The concurrent rise of social media, wedding blogs and bridal magazines have cranked up the aspirational volume to the effect that exposure, perfection, and meaningless innovation has become the new normal.
And that’s not to mention the people working tirelessly behind the scenes to hit this impossible target. Wedding vendors are one inconsequential mistake away from a full blown Menty B with the stakes growing higher with each passing season.
Like many of my wedding industry compatriots, I’ve had numerous moments of wanting to exit stage left and save myself from the mounting pressure of matrimonial madness… but I REFUSE to give up on weddings, and by that I mean I refuse to allow this sacred, uniquely human ceremony to be consumed by late stage capitalism.
I’ve seen too much goodness not to fight for the wedding revolution we deserve.
There are too many couples waiting for permission to release ideologies thrust upon them; too many luminary vendors yearning for work that is energetically sustainable and creatively rewarding.
After a decade of playing by these arbitrary rules, I’m drawing a line in the sand and blowing the damn whistle!
It’s up to us to plot a new course that holds space for all the beautiful, messy and unplanned moments that make life worth celebrating. It’s time we ground down (in reality, landscape, each other and ourselves) and recommit to the principle spark of this whole endeavor.
It’s time we reconnect.
So it is with ferocious hope that we launch The Vow Podcast!
This intentional media platform is founded on radical transparency and a fearless exploration of modern weddings. We’re committed to paving the way for conscious conversations and joyful examinations of love, weddings and marriage because it’s time we take our therapist’s advice and do some much needed self reflection!
Through meaningful conversations, beautiful photos and hot takes I am committed to empowering couples with profound, ground-breaking articles and connecting them to value-aligned vendors. Join us as we delve into the intersection of weddings and everything else worth a damn (hint: there’s a lot).
Weddings are a sacred expression of the human experience that deserve room to breath and evolve, and we deserve flexibility and understanding in this complex endeavor. It’s time we marry the divine spirit of connection that started it all with some 21st century wit.
Here goes nothing…
